Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Charity Tuesday: Autism Speaks




Hello Everyone,

As we all know, spotlighting charities and worthwhile causes is important to SR.

As a group, Elli, Coco, Sere and I are also dedicated to promoting these endeavors. Therefore, we are happy to share a weekly series of posts in order to take a more in-depth look at the various charitable organizations highlighted by SR. You can find a complete list of these charities on our blog by clicking on the "About the Charities" header.

Today's post was submitted by Efrat and we thank her for sharing her personal experiences with Argyle Empire.

We hope you will find the information in these posts informative and educational.  If you have a particular cause that is close to your heart or you have personal experiences with any of the charities we spotlight, please feel free to contact us about it.

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Autism Speaks

Mission Statement: 

At Autism Speaks, our goal is to change the future for all who struggle with autism spectrum disorders.

We are dedicated to funding global biomedical research into the causes, prevention, treatments, and cure for autism; to raising public awareness about autism and its effects on individuals, families, and society; and to bringing hope to all who deal with the hardships of this disorder. We are committed to raising the funds necessary to support these goals.

Autism Speaks aims to bring the autism community together as one strong voice to urge the government and private sector to listen to our concerns and take action to address this urgent global health crisis. It is our firm belief that, working together, we will find the missing pieces of the puzzle.

Autism Speaks. It's time to listen.

Website: www.autismspeaks.org
Twitter: @autismspeaks


My son was diagnosed with Autism about 2 years ago. For a parent, this is a devastating condition, and extremely heartbreaking. Many of you are parents, so you can imagine how heart-wrenching it is when your own child doesn’t communicate with you, is lagging in development, and his/her future as an independent adult becomes questionable. The parental worries of parents to an Autistic child are very different, and stretch far beyond those of parents with neuro-typical children. It’s a situation that is inherent, obsessive and all-consuming, and exposes the entire family to immeasurable stress. The life of such a family revolves around that child, and in most cases warrants the adoption of a completely different and demanding lifestyle that includes a different diet, extensive therapy sessions, adaptive speech, advocacy, bio-medical issues, dealing with insurance… the list goes on.

It’s devastating. So many couples I know have divorced due to the stress of this harsh lifestyle. In fact, the divorce rate among families with Autism is more than double that of the national average.

It’s ironic, because these children are so incredibly special, but rarely viewed as such since they can’t always express themselves in language – some don’t talk at all, and some just don’t know what to say or how to say it. They are exceptionally bright and have so much love to give, with absolutely no judgment – something that most of us have shied away from, simply due to the way we have been socialized.

One significant emotion that many Autism parents suffer from, is how guilty they feel about their child’s situation – that they might have caused this condition, haven’t prevented it in time, bad genes... it’s haunting! And, guilt can be a dangerous thing. There’s nothing positive or motivating about it. It doesn’t stem from love, but from a sense of fear, belittlement and self-punishment. And it’s possessive too - you simply cannot get rid of it, and very quickly takes ownership of your soul.

For 2 years, I felt guilty; like I was responsible for my son’s situation, like I’ve damaged my own flesh and blood. And I beat myself up for that, while at the same time doing everything I could to prove that my son could be “fixed” (with therapy, bio-medical treatments etc.) – all so I could try and rid myself of this guilty feeling that relentlessly tortured me.

When I started reading Gabriel’s Inferno, I didn’t know quite what to expect, but I felt very attached to the words and the storyline.  Deep inside, I knew there was a reason why this book found me. Call it fate, I suppose, but at the time I couldn’t really explain it.

I did, though, relate very well to Gabriel’s character – the motivated, career-oriented individual that couldn’t stand mediocrity, and who felt he was a sinner beyond redemption. That was exactly how I felt – tortured by the thought that I was the one to bring Autism upon my son, and because of that, I was doomed to feel guilt my entire life for a sin I must have committed.

As my reading progressed, I realized there were also many similarities between Julia and my son – the strength, the humility, the innocence and above all - the pure soul and the endless love she has to give.

The more I thought about it, the more I could personally relate – Julia and Gabriel were an allegory to my son and me, as we too share a very special bond forged by a different kind of love than Gabriel and Julia enjoy, but one no less powerful.

In one of SR’s interviews, he said that “this society lives on two major lies – one, that you can be perfect, and the other that your imperfections will damn you to a miserable life. But, we all have our faults and imperfections, and the key is to overcome those with grace; grace being a key element to redemption.”

These two lines really hit home for me, and that’s when I understood what that special connection with the book was. With this quote and throughout the course of my reading, I’ve realized that love in itself has the power to heal, and redemption for me was possible.

So when I let go of my false sense of control over my son’s condition and started to focus on the unconditional love and affection I gave him (and gave more of it), a miracle happened – he began to flourish! He started talking more, becoming more social and a lot more aware – as if a part of him was healing from the Autism!

At the same time, I started feeling less and less guilty, and with every passing day, I regained a bit of my life and vitality back.

It’s been a journey, and took some time, but I’m a different person now.  I must say that I don’t feel guilty anymore, and we’re both a whole lot more peaceful and happy – as individuals and as a family.

Gabriel’s Inferno has been a very substantial part of this healing process. I feel I owe a great deal to SR for writing a beautiful story with such a powerful message, and one that to me, was a mirror to my soul and my relationship with my son. SR taught me through his books that there really is a way to heal, and that way is through love.

I was even more excited when I suggested to SR that he support an Autism charity and he so kindly agreed to support ‘Autism Speaks.’ Every time ‘Autism Speaks’ is highlighted, I am deeply honored, and also very happy as I know this awareness will have a ripple effect that will make the life of my son and other children with Autism a whole lot better.

My son is a lot better now. By no means is he equal to his neuro-typical peers, but he’s getting there and I’m seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I now know he’ll be ok, because all he needs is much love, support, compassion and understanding.

So, thank you, SR. Thank you for being the kind soul that you are; for keeping us all intellectually stimulated, and for encouraging us all to be our best possible self.

And to all the Autism parents (and to everyone, really) – Love! Love with all your heart, as it will heal you from the inside out.

The way I see it, with 1:88 children on the Autism spectrum (some say it’s actually 1:50 – that’s 2%!), and with SR’s 15,000 followers, there are bound to be about 300 that would immediately relate (but this is my analytical side talking ). If only one parent reads this and finds hope, I will be very grateful.

Thank you so much for the time to read this. It means a lot.

Cheers!
Efrat

 

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